And Then There Were Four

It has been rather hectic in the Henery household since my second son arrived nearly a month ago.

We’ve been living on an endless cycle of pumping, washing bottles, feeding kiddos and changing diapers. Rinse, lather, repeat. Pair a gassy, fussy newborn with a teething toddler and you have a recipe for exhaustion. Although my physical postpartum recovery has been relatively easy, we have had a new set of issues this time around. From a case of mastitis for mom and a frenectomy for baby, it’s been a bit chaotic.

Needless to say, there has been a lot of crying and sleepless nights in our home. Most nights I’m lucky if I get 3 or 4 hours combined. To say I’ve been burned out at this point is an understatement. I am fortunate enough to have the best parents that help out as often as they can and a husband that does so much, I don’t even know where to begin.

Even with this much support, I still find myself at the end of my rope at times. Postpartum anxiety and depression are no joke and can happen to anyone. I know that these difficult days won’t last forever, and before I know it, both boys will be grown. It is just really hard in the moment to put one foot in front of the other and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

You think somehow with your second child that everything will fall into place, and it will come easy, but that isn’t always the case. With each baby comes new challenges and new learning curves. It's hard trying to balance your time between both kids and not feel like you’re shortchanging one. Then finding the time to eat, shower and sleep feels like an impossible task.

Some days you feel like a failure as a parent. All your energy is focused on simply getting through the day and you feel like you’re drowning. Then your baby opens their eyes to stare at you and your toddler starts giggling and somehow things feel okay again.

These moments are so fleeting. Your babies are only babies so long. It can be hard to get through the days of tears and tantrums, but these little ones are so incredibly precious. Sometimes I just have to remind myself that I’m doing the best I can, and so are they. The bittersweet things is knowing that things will get easier as they get older, but somehow they’ll never be the same as they are right now. So as I look forward to better days ahead I will grieve the time that is already passing and never take a day of this life for granted.