Effortless friendships are where it's at

Sometimes we take for granted the things around us. We get busy with life and don’t sweep up the messes on the floor, fix that leaky faucet or dust the baseboards.

We get content with the same old, same old and put off those things we “should do.” Quite frankly, we get lazy.

Things that require constant maintenance are too much when you get to be of a certain age. Sometimes those friendships fall off the radar that we just don’t have the energy for. Because sometimes I have to muster the energy just to get off my duff and take a shower.

As parents (and just as adults) there is far too much to juggle to worry about keeping up with someone who requires loads of attention. I have a power bill to pay, a toddler’s nose that needs to be wiped and a work meeting I need to prepare for. And I’m trying to figure it all out right now.

At this life stage I’m a huge advocate for “lazy friendships.” I’m good, if I can text you on a whim (even though it’s been two weeks since we last chatted) and we can pick up right where we left off.

I might have seen your last message, but I got distracted by my baby who toppled over and bonked his head on the coffee table. I might have even had a response half typed, but it got lost in the shuffle when the toddler snatched my phone to watch Snapchats of himself on repeat.

I do care about our conversation, and I will get back in due time. I’m just doing life at the moment.

Having this kind of relationship, where I can coast through without fear of folks drifting away from me, is such a breeze from the fast-paced “trying to fit in” of the past.

And if some drifting does occur, that’s the natural progression in life. Sometimes time, distance, or life-altering changes does cause us to distance ourselves from those we once held dear. It used to hurt when this happened, but now I’ve grown to understand the process.

I’ll watch those former friends from afar (through social media) and wish them all the best with no ill will.

I appreciate everyone who is in the lazy friendship boat with me. Because those random messages, irregular check-ins, or carefully scheduled monthly lunches are vital to me not going crazy.

But above all else I have to shout out the laziest relationship of all: My husband. Lazy in the sense that I am firm in the knowledge that no matter the circumstances, he will always be at my side.

Even on days when I’m frumpy, flustered or frustrated, he’s still there. Neither one of us feels the need to impress the other or walk on eggshells to keep the peace. We just are solid. There are good days and there are bad, but we get up every day and keep on keeping on.

So honey, when you’re reading this as you always do: thank you for your undying devotion, for being my faithful reader, for reeling me in when I get overwhelmed, and even for giving in to the toddler’s demands for an extra cookie at supper time.

I aim to never take you for granted, not even for a minute.